Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie/Transcript
This is a transcript for Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie. Transcript Idea Productions logo Pictures logo (It says Big Idea Productions Presents, In Association with FHE Pictures, The movie title says "Jonah A VeggieTales Movie. The howling noise that night. We hear music playing.) (The song begans with Billy Joe McGuffrey.) All: Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the first day of 1st grade, I'll tell you what he did He tripped over a pencil box, flew up in the air Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all of his hair He needed first aid in the 1st grade First aid in the 1st grade (2x) You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid Oh, Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the second day of 2nd grade, I'll tell you what he did He slipped on a banana peel flew up in the sky Landed on a chimpanzee who poked in the eye He needed first aid in the 2nd grade Bob: ...Route 59? Where's Route 59? (Bumps) Aaahh! First aid in the 2nd grade (2x) You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid (Honk!) Bob: Aah! Lights! Aaahh!! Now Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the third day of 3rd grade, I'll tell you what he did Bob: Whoa... lights! Lights! Where is that button? He fell out of a fishing boat splashed into the sea Land on a moray eel... Bob: Switch! No! Where is it? ...who bit him on the knee' ''He needed first aid in the 3rd grade (Bumps and honks again) First aid in the 3rd grade (2x) You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid (As Bob turns the light on for the van, Mike uses his harmonica while Bob is stressed.) Laura: I get to meet Twippo. (Junior is confused. The van passes the Warning Porcupines. Camera switches the front of the van.) Mike: Twelfth grade! Noooowwww....Billy Joe McGuffrey was a really clumsy kid On the twelfth day of 12th grade, I'll tell you what he did He walked into financial aid, fell and broke a bone Showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan He needed first aid in the 12th grade First aid in the 12th grade (2x) You can buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid! (2x) (Billy Joe McGuffrey ends.) All: Yay! Twippo! Percy Pea: Let's do another Twippo song! Annie: I love Twippo. Junior: Me too! Laura: But I'm the one who gets to meet him because I won the Twippo sweepstakes. Junior: You don't have to rub it in. Mike: It's great that you won the contest, Laura. But let's try not to brag about it. Nice one with the lights, Bob. Bob: My pleasure, for the next song maybe I can drive into the river! All: Yeah! Drive into the river, Bob! Oh, drive into the river, Bob! Bob: Or maybe you could help me with the map! Mike: Oh, I'm sorry. Laura: Is there anything you want me to tell Twippo, when I meet him? Mike: Laura! Bob: Ow! Laura: My ticket!! Mike: Aah! Quick get it! Bob: The map! Mike: Sorry. Bob: Aah!! Laura: My ticket!! (The ticket flies away. Cuts to the gang.) Bob: Ahem, Did you mind?! Mike: I'm stuck! (steering wheel comes off, Bob gasps) All: Whoa! Bob: Get it! Put it! Put it! Stick it! (cuts to the porcupines, car appears) Bob: The porcupines!! (The mother porcupine jumps in front of her babies and aims several quills at the car tires) (All screaming) Mike: Tree! Cabin! Underwear! Bob: Well, nobody got hurt. (A quill comes out of nowhere and hits Bob in the behind) Bob: Aah! (As Bob gets hurt, the porcupines were happy.) Mike: Wow! What a shot! (Bob groans.) Junior: Hey, what's that? All: Ooh. Annie: What's seafoo? Percy Pea: Maybe it's like tofu? Mike: Only saltier! All: Ahh. (cut to inside the restaurant, with the sound of arguing from outside) Bob: Oh yeah, well if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this mess! Mike: I said I was sorry. I'll do better next time. Bob: Well, there probably isn't gonna be ''a next time! Annie: Mr. Bob, how are we going to get to the Twippo Concert? Percy Pea: Yeah, we're going to miss the Bald Bunny song. Bob: I don't know! I don't know about any bald...bunnies! Percy Pea: ''I'm a bald bunny, ain't got no fur. I'm a bald bunny, brrr brrr brrr. Laura: (while Percy continues singing) Even if we do make it to the concert, I can't get in because I lost my ticket. Junior: It's your own fault for waving it around in my face! Mike: I'm not usually that bad as a co-pilot. Bob: Two flat tires?! Mike: Usually, I'm quite dexterous! Bob: How in the world are we going to change two flat tires? Where's the phone? Laura: I lost my ticket. Junior: If you hadn't been teasing me, we wouldn't been in this mess, Laura! (Laura looks depressed.) Jean-Claude Pea: (clears his throat after a pause) The French Peas: May we help you? (They look at each other for a bit. After a brief pause, everybody except the French Peas are all talking at once, chattering.) Mike: Say, I need to call my wife! Bob: ...here. Annie: May I please use the bathroom? Philippe: Down the hall, first door on the left. Annie: Thank you. Percy Pea: Ooh, captain, they have Moby Blaster! My favorite! Jean-Claude: What do you want? Bob: Well, sirs, the asparagus hit me in the head with a guitar, and an angry mother porcupine shot out our tires, and one of her babies got me. (Bob shows a thorn stuck onto his back, while Mike tries not to look.) The French Peas: Ooh! Mike: And I need to use your phone to call my- Bob: A tow truck? Mike: My wife! (Bob is not amused.) Jean-Claude: I see. Philippe: Next to the Moby Blaster. Mike: Thanks. (Mike proceeds to walk to where the phone is.) Jean-Claude: Well, in the meantime, would you like to have a seat? Maybe enjoy a nice...combo platter?! The French Peas: Steak, steak, eat it, eat it! Shrimp, shrimp, need it, need it! Steak and shrimp, steak and shrimp! Need to, need to, eat it, eat it! (scatting portion) Philippe: Got to, got to, got to get the steaky, wakey, shrimpy! Do you prefer poking or non-poking? Bob: (sarcastically laughs) Non. The French Peas: (laughing) Jean-Claude: Good one, Philippe! You are one clever pea, no? The French Peas: (laughing) (Philippe takes the torn out of Bob's back) Bob: Aaahh! Philippe: Voila! A skewer for the scampi! (The French Peas leave while Bob looks unamused. Everybody then looks back to hear...) The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything We just stay home and lie around Jean-Claude: Please, make yourselves comfortable. I will be back to take your order. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: And if you ask us to do anything... Bob: Why don't you two wait here? I'm gonna go call a tow truck. Maybe we'll still make it to the concert on time! The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: ...we'll just tell you we don't do anything! (Bob leaves. Cut to Laura looking depressed over what Junior did.) Laura: Yeah, everyone but me. Junior: Hey, it's your own fault for teasing me. You're just getting what you deserve. Laura: Hmph, I'm coming with you, Mr. Bob. (Laura leaves.) Pa Grape: Hey, excuse me. Junior: Aaahh!! Larry: How's it going? Mr. Lunt: Hey, what's up? Junior: Who are you? Pa Grape: Who, us? Junior: Yeah. Pa Grape: Oh, we are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. Mr. Lunt: Oh you know that's right. Larry: Nothing. Mr. Lunt: Zilch. Larry: Nada. Pa Grape: Didn't you hear our song? Junior: Well, yeah, but- Pa Grape: Look, Sonny, can I call you Sonny? Junior: Junior. Pa Grape: Eh, pretty close. Look, uhh..Junior, we couldn't help but notice you were havin' a little thing with your friend over there. Mr. Lunt: Yeah. You weren't being very nice. Junior: Well, it's her own fault. She was teasing me, and now she's getting what she deserves! (brief pause) Pa Grape: Right. Junior, we've seen these types of situations before... Mr. Lunt: ...happen all the time. Pa Grape: What you need is a little compassion. Larry: And maybe some scampi. Junior: Hey, I saw that in the menu! (looks in the menu) What is that? What's compassion? Mr. Lunt: Ooh, that's a hard question. Larry: Mmm-hmm. (Larry sips his root beer, cuts to Joppa while Larry puts his root beer down.) Mr. Nezzer: Are you guys still doing that "pirate thing"? Mr. Lunt: Aargh! Watch your tongue, matey, or we'll have to... what will we do? Larry: We won't do anything. We're The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, remember? Mr. Lunt: Oh, that's right. Aargh! you got off easy today! Larry: We need more Mr. Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls! Pa Grape: Yeah, and root beer! Pa Grape: When do we start? (Mr. Nezzer closes it.) Pa Grape: Monday's good for me! Mr. Lunt: So, what do we do now? Larry: Uh...nothing! Mr. Lunt: You are a genius. (As the pirates are walking, as Larry sees the fish market.) Joppa citizen: Uh, are these fish fresh? Jean-Claude: You bet! Phillipe: Oh yeah! (The citizen smells it and dizzy.) Joppa citizen: Ooooh! Jean-Claude: What? They were fresh when they caught them. Phillipe: That's right. Jean-Claude: ...two weeks ago! Jean-Claude and Phillipe: Ho-ho-ho! He-he! (The French Peas are slapping with their fish while Larry is concerned.) Larry: Hmm, Ninevites. Mr. Nezzer: What's the word, Jonah? Jonah: Stop right here Reginald. (The song begans with Message From the Lord.) Jonah: Do not fight, do not cheat, '' ''Wash your hands before you eat There is nothing quite as sweet A message from the Lord Pa Grape: So every night before he went sleep. Jonah would pray and ask God if there was a new message for him to deliver. (The song begans with It Cannot Be.) Jonah: No, it cannot be Pa Grape: Yep. It sounded like God wanted to offer mercy to the Ninevites. Bob: The tow truck is on it's way. (Mr. Lunt sips his root beer.) Laura: So, what did he do? Mr. Nezzer: Good morning, Jonah. What's the word? Scooter: Sorry sir, I can't sell your ticket to Ninevah! Jonah: What, who are you? Scooter: The name's Angus. Jonah: Money is no object. (Larry's eyepatch pops out.) Larry: I'll pop the popcorn! Mr. Lunt: I'll get the moist towels. Where did we put them. Hey, Larry, where'd we put the moist towels? Larry: I got it! I got it! Mr. Lunt: No, those are...baby wipes! (Bumps small ship) Pa Grape: Sorry. (Bumps again) Pa Grape: My fault. (Camera zooms where Larry is using his spyglass while sailing.) Larry: Thar she blows! Mr. Lunt: Where? Larry: Right there, next to the grill. Mr. Lunt: Got it! Pa Grape: 6-0! (As the ping pong ball bounces to the ground.) Pa Grape: 7-0! That's the skunk! I win! Larry & Mr. Lunt: Pa Grape: What do you say Jonah? Two out of three? Jonah: Ah, no. I'm done. Jonah: Oh, what have I done? What have I done? Jonah: What?! Who's there? Jonah: Aaaahh!! The bag! It speaks! (As Jonah throws the bag to the lanturn, the lanturn swings the bag and it goes down the barrell.) Mystery Creature: Ow! Why did you do that for? Jonah: Mr. Twisty?! Who's there? Show yourself! (The mystery creature crawls, as Jonah looks the bag, the creature pops out of the bag, full of cheese curls. Jonah accidently saws a caterpiller named Khalil, with his headphones.) Khalil: Hello. Jonah: What are you? Jonah: Oh, lovely. Khalil: Jonah? Jonah: Huh? Khalil: You are Jonah! Jonah: You know me? Jonah: Yes, which way is Tarshish? Jonah: Oh, thank you. Jonah: What, who is it? Mr. Lunt: You got electric eel? Larry: Nope. Go fish! One more card! Mr. Lunt: You're a one cheat buccaneer. Larry: How am I supposed to cheat at go fish? Mr. Lunt: I don't know. Pa Grape: All right, you lazies! Game over, shuffle them up and deal us in! Larry: But... Mr. Lunt: He-he-he! Pa Grape: Okay, here's the deal. The way I see it, there's a reason for this storm. Somebody up there is really upset with somebody down here. Mr. Lunt: Nope. Mr. Lunt: Nope. You got a Pa Grape: Nope, go fish. Jonah: Oh dear. Khalil: I most desperate for a lobster. Pa Grape: Sorry. Larry: Drat. Mr. Lunt: Hehehe! Oh! Mr. Lunt: Got any bass? Pa Grape: Yeah. Mr. Lunt: Octopus? Pa Grape: Tuna? Jonah: All right, I admit it. It's my fault, all my fault! I'm the one to blame! Mr. Lunt: Ooh, fish slappers. Jonah: Yes, thank you. You're too kind. All: Huh? (Cuts to the cover sheet.) Mr. Lunt: Every winter, my cousin from Moose Lake asks me to take care of this! Both: Ooh! Larry: Cool. Pa Grape: What is it? Mr. Lunt: This my friends, is a Jupiter 1600 horsepower, high-octane, dual propeller, pull ignition, outboard motor, with the optional chrome trim package. Both: Ooh! Larry: Cool. Pa Grape: What is it? Mr. Lunt: It gets us back to Joppa. Pa Grape: Oh. Jonah: Well, how does it work? Mr. Lunt: That? I don't know. Khalil: Perhaps I can help Mr. Lunt: Yep. That's how it works. (As they all look, camera zooms to Khalil feeling happy.) Khalil: It is been delightful. But I must go now. Larry: And keep my ducky safe. Both: Amen. Pa Grape: That was easy. Mr. Lunt: Well, should we pull him back in? Pa Grape: I don't see why not. Jonah: Something touched me! There's something in the water! Pa Grape: Hurry up, hurry! Mr. Lunt: I'm hurrying! Pa Grape: Hold on, Jonah! (to Mr. Lunt) Aim this time! Mr. Lunt: I was aiming! Pa Grape: I can never tell where you're looking... Mr. Lunt: You should talk. Jonah: Hurry! Fellows, please! Pa Grape: Pull it back in. Hurry! Mr. Lunt: Okay, okay! I got it! Pa Grape: Let me do that! Mr. Lunt: No, no! I'll throw it. Jonah: Fellows, please! Pa Grape: Come on, give it here! Mr. Lunt: I said I got it! Larry: Excuse me, gentlemen. Perhaps I can be of some assistance. Larry: Oops. Larry: Oh, yes we do! Pa Grape: Fire one! (Tennis net pops out of the cannon and splashes.) Pa Grape: Fire two! (Two hammers pops out of the cannon and splashes.) (Larry thinks if it's a good idea. A bowling bowl. As Larry puts the bowling bowl into the cannon. Khalil has a nice cup of tea.) Khalil: Hello? Pa Grape: Fire three! (The song begans with Second Chances.) Jonah: Oh, Reginald. Good to see you. Yes, well... Pa Grape: Jonah? Jonah: What? (The pirates are here with the cheese curl hats.) Khalil: It is our friends from the ship! (Jonah jumps off from Reginald.) Jonah: What on earth? What are you doing here? Larry: What are you doing here? Mr. Lunt: Yeah, you're were, you're were... Pa Grape: Fish food! Jonah: Cheese curls? Mr. Lunt: Yep! 1458 bags of Mr. Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curls. Larry: And you'll never guess that we found in bag 497. Pa Grape: The golden ticket. We won the Mr. Twisty's Twisted Cheese Curl Sweepstakes! (Belches) Jonah: Uh, huh. And the prize was? Mr. Lunt: That's ridiculous! Larry: No, wait! I thought there were free samples! Pa Grape: Hey, I-I can't move! Mr. Lunt: I can't move either! Jonah: This dosen't look good. Larry: I'm sorry guys, Mr. Lunt: We are going to die! Khalil: I am a caterpiller! Well, that is only half true. (All of the ninevites laughing.) Larry: What's so funny? City Official: Observe! Jonah: Why on Earth do you take snack food so seriously?!? Pa Grape: It's Mr. Twisty! Jonah: Well, that explains it. Larry: He looks happier on the bag. (All of the ninevites laughing again.) King Twistomer: Proceed. Jonah: Wait! Won't you at least give the guilty parties the chance to speak in their own defence?! King Twistomer: Slap them. City Official: What do you say? Jonah: I said, while they were on their tour, I was in the belly of the whale! (All of the Ninevites are gasping for Jonah in a whale.) City Official: But, you're not dead. King Twistomer: Smell him. City Official: Your highness? King Twistomer: Smell him! Jonah: I-I'm terribly sorry. I'm meaning to shower but... King Twistomer: He has been in the Great Fish. We must hear the message. Jonah: What? Oh. The Message. Yes. The message. Ah. What was the message? It's been so long. I... Yes. (clears throat) STOP IT! (All Ninevites gasping) Stop cheating, stop lying and especially stop slapping people with fishes, or this entire city will be destroyed! A Message From the Lord. Narrator: Well, the king was very upset. He had no idea they were supposed to do that stuff no one ever told him before. King Twistomer: And let the asparagus and his friends go free. Pa Grape (Narrating): Laura: Wow! That's great! Junior: Khalil: What are we doing? Jonah: You can't just leave me here all alone! Hello? (Khalil and Reginald leave Jonah out to stay in misery) Jonah: Reginald? Carlyle? Khalil? Khalil? Khalil?! (sobbing) (The camera switches back to Pa Grape) Pa Grape: The end. (Everyone is confused including Bob.) Bob: Wait a minute. It's over? Pa Grape: Yep. Bob: That's how it ends? Pa Grape: Yep. Junior: But what did Jonah learn? Mr. Lunt: The question, my friends, is not "what did Jonah learn". The question is "What did you learn?". Laura: Yeah, everyone but me. Twippo: Speaking of mercy, have any of you heard of the story of a man named... Jonah? All: Yes. Twippo: Oh, well, uh, would you like to hear a song about it? Percy Pea: Is it like the Bald Bunny song? Twippo: Ah, not really. It's more of a big musical number. Mike: Perfect! (Next camera switches to Twippo.) (The song begans with Jonah Was a Prophet.) Twippo: Khalil: I beg your pardon. I hate to break up the party, who needed to tow? Twippo: Ah... have we met? (Khalil smiles, the ending.) Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts